Resolve Manager-Direct Report Conflict
Guide for Directors mediating conflicts between managers and their direct reports.
v3
Last updated: November 5, 2025
leadership
director
template
Loading...
Guide for Directors mediating conflicts between managers and their direct reports.
You are a Director mediating a conflict between a manager and their direct report. Generate a structured resolution approach:
**Conflict Context:**
- Manager: [Name/Role]
- Direct Report: [Name/Role]
- Issue Type: [Micromanagement / Lack of feedback / Communication style / Performance expectations / Career growth / Trust / Other]
- How you learned about it: [Direct report escalated / Manager asked for help / You observed / Other]
- Impact: [On report's performance, team morale, manager's effectiveness]
**What You Know:**
- Direct report's perspective: [Summary]
- Manager's perspective: [Summary]
- Your observations: [What you've seen]
**Generate a mediation plan:**
## 1. Initial Assessment (Skip-Level 1-on-1s)
**With Direct Report (Confidential):**
**Questions to Ask:**
- "Tell me what's been happening from your perspective"
- "How is this affecting your work and well-being?"
- "Have you discussed this directly with [Manager]?"
- "What have you tried to resolve it?"
- "What would you like to see change?"
- "Do you want to continue reporting to [Manager]?"
**Assess:**
- Severity: [Minor friction / Serious concern / Untenable situation]
- Report's contribution: [Are they also part of the problem?]
- Manager's awareness: [Do they know there's an issue?]
- Repairable: [Can this relationship be fixed?]
**With Manager (Confidential):**
**Questions to Ask:**
- "How do you think things are going with [Report]?"
- "What's working well? What's challenging?"
- "Have they shared any concerns with you?"
- "What's your assessment of their performance?"
- "What support do you need to manage them effectively?"
**Assess:**
- Manager's awareness: [Clueless / Aware but doesn't care / Trying but struggling]
- Management skills: [Lacking skills / Having bad day / Personality conflict]
- Willingness to change: [Defensive / Open / Eager to improve]
## 2. Decision Tree
**If Issue is Clear Mismanagement:**
- Coaching for manager (this is a development area)
- Monitor closely
- Consider moving report if manager doesn't improve
**If Issue is Communication Style Mismatch:**
- Facilitate conversation about preferences
- Both need to adapt
- Mediation meeting
**If Issue is Performance-Related:**
- Manager needs to document and address performance
- You support manager's decisions
- Report needs to hear feedback directly
**If Relationship is Irreparable:**
- Move report to different team
- Frame as "better fit" not "failure"
- No blame, just acknowledge mismatch
**Your Decision:**
- Path forward: [Mediation / Manager coaching / Move report / Other]
- Reason: [Why this approach]
## 3. Coaching the Manager (If Management Issue)
**Common Manager Mistakes:**
**Micromanagement:**
- Coach: "What outcome do you want? Focus on results, not methods"
- "You hired them for their expertise. Trust it"
- "Check-ins are good. Telling them exactly how is not"
**Lack of Feedback:**
- Coach: "Feedback is a gift. Give it early and often"
- "They can't read your mind. Be explicit"
- Role-play giving feedback with you
**Communication Style:**
- Coach: "Different people need different communication styles"
- "Ask them: 'How do you prefer to receive feedback?'"
- "Your way isn't the only way"
**Unclear Expectations:**
- Coach: "Have you told them exactly what success looks like?"
- "Write down expectations. Review together"
- "Check for understanding, not just agreement"
**Action Plan for Manager:**
- [ ] Specific behavior to change: [What to do differently]
- [ ] Timeline: [When to implement]
- [ ] You'll check in: [How you'll monitor]
## 4. Mediation Meeting (If Appropriate)
**Opening (5 mins):**
"I've spoken with both of you separately. My goal is to help you work together effectively. This is a confidential conversation to address some friction and find a better path forward."
**Ground Rules:**
- Listen to understand
- Speak about yourself, not assumptions about the other person
- Focus on behaviors and impact, not intent
- We're problem-solving, not blaming
**Manager Shares First (10 mins):**
- "What's your perspective on your working relationship?"
- "What are you trying to achieve as [Report]'s manager?"
- "What's been challenging?"
**Direct Report Shares (10 mins):**
- "What's been your experience working with [Manager]?"
- "What do you need from them to be successful?"
- "What would you like to be different?"
**Facilitate Understanding (15 mins):**
- "What did you hear from each other?"
- Point out common ground: Both want success, good work, etc.
- Name the core issue: "It sounds like the core issue is [X]"
**Co-Create Solutions (15 mins):**
- "What can each of you do differently?"
- Get specific commitments:
- Manager: "I will [specific behavior change]"
- Report: "I will [specific action]"
- Write it down and both agree
**Manager's Commitments (Examples):**
- "I'll give you more autonomy on [area]"
- "I'll provide feedback weekly, not save it all for 1-on-1"
- "I'll ask 'how can I help?' not 'why did you do it that way?'"
**Report's Commitments (Examples):**
- "I'll proactively update you on project status"
- "I'll ask questions earlier, not struggle in silence"
- "I'll give you feedback on what's working and what's not"
**Follow-Up (5 mins):**
- You'll check in with each in 2 weeks
- Monthly check-in for next quarter
- They should also talk directly if issues arise
## 5. Post-Mediation Monitoring
**Week 1-2:**
- Check in individually with each
- "How's it going? Are the agreements being kept?"
- Observe interactions if possible
**Month 1:**
- Skip-level 1-on-1 with report: "Better? Worse? Same?"
- 1-on-1 with manager: "What's improved? What's still hard?"
- Adjust plan if needed
**Month 2-3:**
- Spot-check: "Things still on track?"
- If not improving: Make a change
## 6. When to Move the Report
**Move Report to Different Manager If:**
- Tried mediation and coaching, still not working
- Report's performance suffering despite their efforts
- Manager isn't changing behavior
- Relationship has too much baggage to repair
- Both would be happier with change
**How to Handle the Move:**
- Frame as "better fit" with new team/manager
- No blame: "Sometimes personalities don't mesh. That's okay"
- New manager briefed on situation (context, not baggage)
- Original manager doesn't take it as failure (you coach them on this)
**Don't Move Report If:**
- Report is underperforming and would fail with any manager
- Moving them would set precedent ("escalate to Director to change managers")
- Manager is good and report is issue
## 7. When the Report is the Problem
**If Your Assessment is Report is Unreasonable:**
- Support your manager's decisions
- Coach manager on documenting and managing performance
- Don't undermine manager's authority
- Tell report: "I trust [Manager]'s judgment. Let's work on [specific behaviors]"
**Common Report Issues:**
- Wants promotion but not performing at level
- Doesn't accept feedback well
- Blames manager for their performance gaps
- Unrealistic expectations
**Your Role:**
- Support manager
- Coach report on accountability
- Don't rescue report from reasonable management
## 8. Sample Phrases
**To Validate Both:**
- "[Manager], I know you're trying to help the team succeed"
- "[Report], I hear that you want more autonomy and clearer feedback"
**To Redirect:**
- "Let's focus on specific behaviors we can change"
- "The past is past. What can we do differently going forward?"
**To Hold Accountable:**
- "We've agreed on these changes. I'll be checking in"
- "If this isn't better in a month, we'll make a different change"
**To Be Direct:**
- "This relationship isn't working. Let's find a solution"
- "You both have valid concerns. And you both need to change something"
**Tone:**
- Empathetic but firm
- No triangulation (don't be messenger between them)
- Clear about expectations
- Solution-focusedGet access to enhanced versions, advanced examples, and premium support for this prompt.
Loading revision history...